My friend Shawn Madden and I form a production company called The Orange Ones. A little Facebook post about being lazy inspired this doodled vision of our next workshop. Who’s in? Could you use some help in the world of resting? We’re here for you!
inner peace
Morning Resting
Here’s my view from the bed where I just wrote an extra paged Morning Pages and am listening to Paul Simon sing on Joni Mitchell Pandora. I started my period this morning, the day before my birthday.
I’m a mix of contentment, affirmation that this is symbolic of the release of the past and all that I no longer need, and just a little bummed that I might have some discomfort for a few days. But I’m not bad-vibing that or myself.
As they say around the Sunday night at the Landmark Forum, “I choose this wee bit of cramps,” if that’s what’s happening, including choosing a little disappointment if that’s what’s arising.
A birthday can be pressure to show up in a certain way. I say we get to show up perfectly as we already are.
I’m content. And may try for a micro nap before going to meet my friend for birthday lunch and discussing our next move in doodling with Southwest Airlines.
It’s a great life. Trust Rest.
Nap Encouragement
I don’t consider myself a very good napper, but maybe there’s room for a new affirmation for me in there somewhere!
Nothing to Force
Sleepy me!
I woke up this morning after a friendly sleep. As I got back in bed to write my Morning Pages, I could tell that I could have gone back to sleep for another hour. I could feel it. But I mustered my MPs (and glad enough to do so) because I had a private doodle session scheduled and I wanted to be up and fed and ready for that in a few hours.
Well as it came to pass, my session was postponed due to my client friend’s back wonking out, so I’ve been chilling out, looking for some things on-line that I’d been thinking of, sending a friend old blog posts about having shingles (trust rest!). And now, here I am, fully sleepy on this steamy humid afternoon.
I’d had in mind that I’d use this unexpected free time to make a puppet or two (I have some in the pipeline) and go have a nice meal or combine the two, but I haven’t so far. I’m here and I’m sleepy.
It feels so good not to push anything and to let the moment indicate itself.
Isn’t that where this whole exploration began anyway?
Later this afternoon I get to receive a Reiki session from a friend who’s Reiki Level 1 training I get to begin this weekend. I’m pretty psyched to let myself be in someone else’s care this afternoon. I think that’s part of what fatigues me: always being the one in charge.
But if that Indian buffet was open til 3 on weekdays, I wouldn’t mind cruising by there. It’s not though. ❤
Trusting rest and my belly to guide me perfectly through this afternoon.
Hoping you’re all well!
Listen to the Puppets
Writing Mother’s Day
It’s Mother’s Day today. I dreamed about my mother last night. It was very emotional. Also, after peeing around 0700, I slept until almost 11. I woke up with my eyes super puffy and almost didn’t recognize myself when I went to the mirror to lavish myself with love, appreciation and approval.
Then, after Morning Pages, I got all wild while looking at Facebook (of course). I felt such an urge to write, write, write. I took a day off yesterday from my 1000 words. I was glad enough to do so, although if I’d been more awake last night, I could have written. I have so much coming through right now.
Meanwhile, I’m here at the Tree House whose next renter arrives tomorrow. I’ve been doing a bit of cleaning each day the past few days (see 10s, below), but I don’t really feel like I’m making a dent in it. I mean, I’m still living and sleeping and showering and eating in here. I guess I just make a mess.
I could spend all day cleaning today, but I must write. I must. I must. I am.
I have thoughts like Writer seeks place to write. And I dig the excitement of finally feeling like I want to spend as much time as I feel writing today. The writer who got cut off by the college teacher in 1989 is finally re-emerging, and it’s awesome.
Today may have been the first day that I had such a direct craving.
Now I can hear the mother (grandmother) in the back yard next door who’s talking on the phone. Makes me realize how I must be heard when I’m out here, too.
Anyway, the reason a permanent wonderful home is right for me is that I don’t want to spend my time/energy/direction cleaning the house and packing up my shit again to move. I want to write.
And so, right now, I am. (A wee puff helps. I’ll say it.)
This morning’s Morning Pages inspired doodle. Yes, I.
I did talk to my mom, by the way. I feel better and also . . . I feel. Lots to feel on this day and tons of words to be written. See you soon! xx
Awesome Way to Start the Day!
Hello loves! I had the wonderful fortune of starting the day leading the Sunday REST Room call! It’s amazing how that kicks of such openness. I got to follow it up by facilitating a Living Inquiries session, which uses resting as its base, so I feel as well (or as friendly in the body, I could say), as I’ve felt in days. Highly recommended!
If you would like a recording of today’s 45 minute guided resting call, you can register at this link as if you were signing up for the call, and I will email you the recording link.
Wishing you all a sweet evening. The calls are great at bedtime too.
Love, love!
Good Self Love
I have been puuuuuushing. And that and the twisted up ness I’ve been writing about finally culminated in my body saying, “Nope!”
A few nights ago I was sneezing from the allergens in the air and it was taking me over. I felt really fucked up. Then I realized I had a bit of a fever, and I was like, OK. I need to remove all obligations and stressors I can. Right now.
So I postponed my Self-Loving through Creativity class that was meant to happen the next morning, and went off for a restless night of trying-to-sleep sickness. In the morning, I took to my Morning Pages, asking for help as I was feeling really ill and knew that I still needed to feed myself, get the apartment I was staying in ready for the weekend renters, and drive about 40 minutes to my friend’s place where I would stay one night. Then I was meant to move on to another place for the next night and then come back to the apartment on the third. O.M.G. too much while feeling sick. So stressed in the brain.
I paused during my Morning Pages and noticed a text message had come in from my friend who owns the beautiful garage apartment (see “apartment” above) saying, not only that her house would be free for me to stay in that night if I wanted, but also thanking me for “everything.” (We have a wonderful mutual thing going, though I do tend, still, to feel a little one-down, because these are her homes, not mine. This looks like a great place to insert some inquiry. Just to continue on with this thought for a moment . . . I see that I have this guilt/shame/lowliness that comes through when I need a place to stay. I think about a good friend of mine, also nomadic, who used to come and stay at mine from time to time. I quite loved it when he came over and passed out on the living room couch after we had wine and smoke and lots of Ryan Adams on iTunes. I wonder if that shamey sense is part of what seems to keep this pipeline so constricted? Great places to look. Really great.)
Anywayyyyy my friend had offered me a place, in a much more downstream situation than what I’d been intending. Then last night I found out that my plans for tonight were changing and possibly falling through. I was feeling anxious (and stuffed up) when I woke up early this morning and never got back to sleep.
And then I remembered a blog post my friend Marina posted asking, “What would someone who loves herself do?”
And I saw: I would contact my friend whose house I’m in today and ask if I can couch surf with her when she gets home tonight. Tomorrow I’ll move back upstairs to the garage apartment until next weekend.
Whew.
Of course (well, is it of course?) she said no problem and even said she was going out of town for the day anyway. And so. Here I am. 1:42 p.m. My relative chores are done. I was going to go take a shower but all the bustling around I’ve done so far today (and that means, like, changing the sheets and a little straightening up, not much more) has pooped me out and I feel free enough to just be here, my messy, stuffy, peaceful-enough, nervous-enough, happy-enough, beautiful self.
It’s been great to put the breaks on all of my major projects for a moment, too. I imagine I could get back into it all on Monday. Or maybe I won’t. Or maybe I will. I remember the very start of this blog asking questions about what it’s like if the mind (and sometimes that includes the plots and plans) is not in charge of the movements, but the quiet in-between is the guide?
And I’m wondering today, how can I apply that when the creative and idea wheels are cranking at the level that they are?
My sense is, there’s nothing I have to DO or NOT DO. Asking the question opens up the gateway on the path.
Trust rest and good self-love my darling. You are perfect. Right here. Right now. Today and always.
* * * * *
In the mirror, it went something like this:
I love you.
I love you when you’re feeling well.
I love you when you’re feeling sick.
I love you when you’re sad.
I love you when you’re happy.
I love you when you’re on task and cranking.
I love you when you’re lying down watching TV.
I love you when you’re scrolling aimlessly on Facebook.
I love you when you’re meditating.
I love you when you’re pooping.
I love you when you’re blowing your nose.
I love you when you don’t know what to do.
I love you when you know exactly what to do.
I love you when you’re confident,
and I love you when you’re afraid.
I so love you when you’re afraid.
I’m so with you and loving you when you’re afriad.
I love you.
I love you when you’re looking beautiful and
when you’re looking ragged.
I love you when you feel easy.
I love you when you feel awkward.
I love you so much.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Darling, I love you.
Tired & Happy
Well, I trust my body’s wisdom!
I’m feeling maybe slightly under today, and I’m okay! I have a few errands I want to do and will take some vitamin C and be super good to myself and take a little rest when I get back home later. I don’t want to speak too soon, but I think I’m going out to see an awesome show tonight, so all the more reason to get some good rest while I can. (I heard this superstar played past midnight in Ohio last week!)
After I wrote my Morning Pages this morning, I took a little mini nap. It was great. I don’t always fall totally asleep, but I’m able to close my eyes and rest some, and that feels goooood.
Loving Affirmation: My body now restores itself to its natural state of health.
I love myself.
I love resting.
I love the Doodle Booth, whose amazing Saturday session we just finished.
I love the Trust Rest blog and love the touchstone of coming back here, again and again.
And now, I’m off to take care of business in the most restful way possible.
Love, love. xo
Resting is . . .
Resting is a pile of things in the bed with me until I am ready to get out of the bed.
It’s a heating pad on a cold day.
It’s the self-care of declining invitations when I’m really feeling to keep to myself.
It’s the leftover stew that I made yesterday waiting for me in the fridge that I’m gonna warm up as soon as I finish this post.
It’s trusting myself and my greater self — all of life — for the unfolding of what is needed when it’s needed and no need to stress about it. It’s all handled.
It’s looking toward inspiration, whether it comes in a book, a YouTube clip, a quiet meditation, a nap, a stroll, or a silly sit-com.
It’s coming out of the cave when it feels natural and encouraging the world that resting is safe and so is creating.
It’s a blessing that I’m grateful for.
trustrest.wordpress.com 