I got a hit last night to make an ebook about following intuition/inner guidance. Several sychronicities lined up to give affirmation. Though a friend suggested that the ebook would be selling myself short, in this moment, it feels like a good starting point. I don’t know what the format would eventually be — just getting a yes on the process, and, more than anything, a continued yes on the topic.
Trusting rest for me has always been about trusting my inner compass. Sometimes I [obliviously] ignore it, but I can always tell you in hindsight what was really running for me.
I have a Doodle Booth scheduled for tonight. I’ve had mixed thoughts and feelings about it. On one hand, I’ve been super encouraged and excited to share this sweetness again. It’s been a while since I’ve held one of these events, and just reading the testimonials has recalled for me what a great gift it is. No one else is giving it quite like this, and I know the deep joy and openness that comes in these gatherings. I feel really lucky like that.
On the other hand, I’ve also been getting this sense that I’m only throwing this because I have the thought that I need money, and that I’m dependent on this class to give me that. And that’s not inspiring at all, and I feel that this energy must come through. I ask myself, how inspired am I to do this tonight? I’ve had a resurgence of my summer ear ache, and today when giving an inquiry evaluation, I actually said that maybe it’s good if I don’t do a Doodle Booth tonight, as it hurts more the more I talk. So what is it that would drive it? Fear against the experiments I’m loyally exploring? Is my loyalty to the exploration being questioned? Do I imagine that I have to worry my way into well-being? That simply can’t be.
My focus has been on guidance. The original question of this blog is, can I trust rest? Can I trust my instincts so fully that I don’t need to freak out or fear or push events that maybe don’t deeply resonate at the moment. And isn’t that at the heart of my book that I’m putting together? My gut tells me that it really is okay not to force something. It KNOWS it. It’s being given opportunity after opportunity to verify this.
This blog may already be the foundation for the book. I’m at almost 100 entries since June. I’m focused.
I am looking really thoroughly at all sorts of doubts, fears, deeply buried beliefs. So much is coming through these days. The contrasts get intense sometimes, almost like birthing pains. And rest and openness and intuition continue to be home. I feel a lot of gratitude and also nervousness and deep affirmation and strength and rest and openness and curiosity and excitement. This is a Hero’s Journey of the finest. Deep thanks to Joseph Campbell for his repetition: “Follow your bliss,and don’t be afraid to follow it . . . Doors will open where there once were none and that wouldn’t open for anyone but you.”
Let’s rest, and I’ll put it into a book. We CAN trust this. It proves itself out immediately, and I can share this recognition with you.
If you feel inspired to support this project, I gratefully and happily accept donations. It’s super helpful not to have to put my energies toward other things and to be able to focus deeply on this — where my focus already is. ❤
If you feel something in your heart, I can take donations through PayPal at firstname.lastname@example.org or using the PayPal button on The Therapy Booth website (see “Pay Now” button on right column). Thank you for the love and support on all fronts.
The rubber is meeting the road, and I’m so grateful. Now I’m going to shut this off and go have some good lunch and fuel this lovely creation. Thanks for being along on the ride. These are auspicious times.